RED - Francesca Rescigno, Demo

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RED - Francesca Rescigno, Demo

Postby Francesca Rescigno » Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:30 pm

Name: Francesca Rescigno
Age: 27
Sex: Female
Gender: Female
Date of Birth: 1968
Team: RED
Class: Demo-Woman

Nationality: Italian
Ethnicity: Sicilian
Languages: Italian, English, Some French

Appearance: Lean and petite, Francesca could easily be described as classically beautiful. Her skin is genetically tanned, and her hair is a pure auburn, wrapped in curling ringlets that frame her slender face. Her small build hides significant strength, but her light step and dark eyes are what fool most people into a deeply false sense of security. There was a time when she would almost constantly where long-sleeves and pants in battle, and dresses in her off-time, to cover the many burns and scars she has accumulated on her arms, legs, and torso over time, and she will still occasionally do this, if weather permits, but now-adays she is far more inclined to beat any commentators senseless than bother covering up.

Try this:
Built lean and petite, Francesca could easily be described as a classical Italian beauty, with her dark curling hair, olive-tan skin and dark eyes fooling those around her into a false sense of security most fail to recognize until it's too late. Her many experiments and adventures with her weapons have choice have left her scarred and burned across much of her body, and while she still occasionally covers up, she's more likely to pummel commenters than disguise the marks.
A bit more condensed and easier to read.


Hair Color: Brown with slight red highlights.
Eye Color: Brown
Height: 5' 5”
Weight: 134 lbs
Image:
Image

Personality: Francesca has an appreciation for the finer things in life. She never goes out without properly seeing to her morning routine, and will gladly drop everything for the sake of creature comforts. She's quite attractive, but the problem is that she knows it, and uses it like a weapon. Francesca is not at all above manipulating others for her own gain, and can't stand being ignored. This is, unfortunately, when her darker side, and the reason for her paycheck, jumps down your throat. Revenge is her drug of choice, and there's no grudge she can't hold for years at a time.
Sexuality: Straight
Strengths: Manipulative, Fiesty, Bold
Weaknesses: Prissy, Selfish, Spiteful

History: Born in the city of Messina, in Sicily, Francesca Rescigno lived a good life with her parents and two younger sisters. When her great-aunt Adelina posted the family, offering to give young Francesca the education and upbringing that she had always dreamed of in high-class Milan, she packed her things and, age thirteen, boarded the first ferry across the water to the main-land, catching a train the rest of the way north. Aunt Adelina greeted her with enthusiasm as she approached the great door to her new home, a two-story villa in the province of Lombardy, just north of the great city itself. For a time, all was well. Before long, however, her aunt became more and more short-tempered, as Francesca became more difficult and demanding, egged on by the lifestyle of the city. After one particularly nasty bout, Adelina threw Francesca into her second-story bedroom and locked the door, informing her that she wouldn't be leaving the room until she learned to behave like a well-mannered young lady. Rather than submitting to this ideal, she immediately threw open the window and climbed out, heading south to her favored Milan, desperate for somewhere to cool her heels.

While wandering the city, admiring the wide varity of boutiques and resturaunts, dreaming of how she could own it all, she was snatched by a thug into the nearby alley, where he proceeded to beat her over the head and steal her bag. Where many would break down in the face of danger, Francesca had had enough for the day, and responded by giving him a swift kick to the knee and bashing him over the head with a brick. She wasn't sure if he was unconcious or dead when she fled from the alley, but she didn't particularly care as she fumed her way back to the house, half in tears. Bursting through the door, she stomped back up to her room, where she was confronted by a very angry Aunt Adeline. Adeline, vastly concerned for her ward's safety, was distraught. Unfortunately, she showed this with righteous fury, and Francesca's prompt response was a brain-addled grab and fling, sending Adeline careening down a flight of stairs, cracking her head on the marble flooring of the front hall. Francesca found herself oddly calm, in the face of these events, and proceed in the way she thought most logical. High in the house's attic, Adeline's deceased husband, Francesca's great-uncle, had a personal office and laboratory, where he used to fiddle with various compounds. Raiding his old supplies, she found a fast-acting acid which, after piling her aunt's body into the massive fireplace, she promptly doused her in with great enthusiasm.

Having now inherited her aunt's villa as the sole heir, Francesca, now sixteen years of age, found herself fascinated by the compounds in her uncle's lab. She would spend the vast majority of her time in the attic, mixing and matching chemicals, coagulants and the like. A series of hand-books left by her uncle instructed her in the proper preperation and use of high-grade combustible compounds, and, with a certain degree of finesse, she went to work decoding them and improving upon old designs. In the afternoons, she would work in the lab, and the next morning, she would test her creations, more often than not leaving craters in the crafted acres of land around the villa. Locals began to spread rumors of the going's on of the villa, and the home certainly never recieved visitors. After some years of practicing her chemistry, the funds left behind by dear auntie were running dry. Twenty years of age, and now quite talented, Franny was in danger of losing everything she owned. Desperate for a way out of her predicament, she began hunting for work, initially turning to the BLU corporation for easy money working in the chem labs. RED quickly caught on to her particular set of circumstances, as they have a talent for doing, and, with some logic, and a severe degree of blackmail, Francesca Rescigno was employed as a high-grade demolitions expert under Reliable Excavation and Demolition.

Francesca always preffered spite over forgiveness, but in this one circumstance, she found herself inclined towards the latter. She rose quickly through the ranks of RED's forces, and gained quite a reputation for her cruel and unusual style. A tendency to rush head-first into combat, brandishing a sticky-bomb launcher like a mallet, along with the crazed look in her eyes and the puffs of smoke her enemies were quickly reduced to, found her branded with the title 'Red Haze'. Her kill-count skyrocketed as time went on, but once again she became more and more unpleasable. At first, she transfered herself from base to base, as each one proved to be incapable of meeting her insane standards of behavior, but before long the residents of the bases themselves were rejecting her requests for transfer, at first out of fear, and then out of malice, as her attitude grew even worse in the face of rejection. Finally, with literally no other bases to turn to, the company shunted her off the main roster, and her name wound up on the short-list to Swamp-Rat.

Loadout:
Primary: Loch-N-Load
Secondary: Scottish Resistance (custom: 1.5 times blast power)
Melee: Scottish Resistance (One-handed Swing)

First Person Sample:
Dio Porca MISERIA! This place is a SWAMP. I know it is in the name, but per amor de Dio, why did it have to be TRUE? The first time I saw pictures of my new home, this was all I could think. Over and over it ran through my head; Why? Why me? What did I do? I was scheduled to leave my current post three days later, and as much as I hated them all, I was determined to spend those three days in the company of my teammates. Despite this, or in spite of my wishes, they were nowhere to be found. It was not until after many hours of searching on my final day that I finally found a fool Scout to talk to. He probably could have out-ran me, but he didn't dare to try.
"Oh Jeremy? Keep me company on my last day, won't you?" I could see the sweat on his brow and the nervous twitch in his grin. He gave me a mumbled excuse and stepped away before I could pull him back. Two hours later I boarded a train leaving from Ontario, and he found himself Respawning with permanent scars in unmentionable places.

Third Person Sample:
Halfway through her train ride, Francesca was confronted with the issue of sleeping. Sleeping on a train being something she hadn't done since she was very young, it took her some time to settle into a comfortable position. Naturally, as soon as she began to doze, she heard a sound from the next compartment, which was quite loud and persistent.

Dio salva il mio asino.

Pulling her shirt back over her head (having taken it off to sleep), she calmly opened the door of her own compartment, stepped up to the neighboring room, and tap-tap-tapped on the door, with a gentle "Excuse me? Could you settle down, please? I'm trying to get to sleep In the next compartment."

From behind the door, her answer was a muffled 'yeah, sorry', and she went back to her own space. Five minutes later, she was falling asleep again, and, of course, the noise returned. Oh no. Oh nonono. Grabbing the duffle-bag she kept her equipment in, she removed the heavy-duty Scottish Resistance sticky-bomb launcher and marched back into the hallway. This time, a swift kick was the only tap-tap-tapping she did, and the door fell in to reveal two very very drunken medics.

The look on their face was priceless in her eyes. Just the right blend of fear, irritation, and captivation to kick up that special gland in her brain that was responsible for her best moments on the field, queing her for her next sentence.

"Bastardi Ubriachi, I am trying to get to sleep, and if I don't wake up refreshed and invigorated in the morning I will send one of these bombs down your THROAT." With a swift shot, she planted a bomb on the car window, which began to beep away. "If I am still awake in one hour, or I wake up for any reason during the night, you both go off the rails. Am I understood, fools?" When neither one spoke up, she slammed the door behind her and went to bed. She slept soundly that night.
Last edited by Francesca Rescigno on Tue May 01, 2012 4:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Francesca Rescigno
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Re: Francesca Rescigno, Red Demo (to be finished: 5/1/12)

Postby Gerhard Melsbach » Tue May 01, 2012 2:27 pm

Firstly, I wish to thank you for your interest in our humble little home of Swamp Rat, we've been desperate for players for some time and it's great to see new people joining us. So, hello and welcome.

Secondly, I must confess that, though from you express a great handle on the English language via your description of your character's history, there are a few key issues regarding your character that I must address.

The most blatant of these issues is the fact that this young lady, despite having contact with volatile chemicals and working with explosives, she has maintained a flawless appearance and is very attractive. Not to say that she can't be attractive, many women working in dangerous fields of industry are really quite beautiful, but the lack of scars and injury is simply not workable. Someone with experience with explosives and the things that create explosives would have had accidents in their past leading up to their current mastery, and those accidents would very rarely leave no marks. The canon Demoman has a missing eye from his exploits, and various scars. I'm not saying you have to take out an eye or anything, but she should have some levels of abrasion from explosive incidents and handling volatile chemicals.

Next on the list is her build.
A woman may be slight and dainty so long as her environment and chosen direction in life permits such a build, and while Francesca's upbringing would have started her as such, working with explosive materials and the instruments required to handle said materials in a laboratory and battlefield environment would have bulked her up for the rigors of her chosen profession. Being so very light, the recoil from her weapons would cause her sever injury, if not incapacitate her completely. She must have some level of muscular build, and muscle is heavier than fat, so she would be a great deal heavier than 110 pounds, at least an extra 20 to 30 pounds to prevent her coming to great harm.

Lastly, the flowery descriptive words.
We don't need to have such emphasis on her apparent appearance, you can say that her gender is simply "Female" and her hair is "Auburn" and her eyes are "Brown". Also, Italians are widely known to have a natural olive complexion that looks tan to most Caucasians, so you don't really need to point out her "genetically tanned" skin.

Also, this is more of a nitpick than an actual issue, the image you've chosen to represent her.
From the description of her appearance, there should be a lightly built, curly haired red head being used as a Play-By, more like this, or this, or even this, maybe even this. Obviously, red hair is not a trait commonly seen in those of Italian descent, so there must be some level of Irish in her background and she managed to win the genetic lottery of grabbing the least likely appearance markers to combine in her appearance.
You might want to take that into account when you rewrite her appearance, maybe make it fit to her actual image?

Anyway, I hope you find this critique helpful and that you'll be able to get this girl fixed up for acceptance in the next couple days.
Thanks again!
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Re: Francesca Rescigno, Red Demo

Postby Francesca Rescigno » Tue May 01, 2012 4:16 pm

I've updated it as best I can, right now. I hope that you like it. I've only ever heard darker brown with little bits of red in it described as auburn, but I've changed it to be more clear now. Thank you so much for helping. ^_^
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Re: Francesca Rescigno, Red Demo

Postby Gerhard Melsbach » Tue May 01, 2012 4:54 pm

Much better.
You do have a few spelling errors in need of correcting, just an FYI, but they're not something to really worry about right at the moment.
With the added bulk and appearance corrections, she comes across as a much more balanced character, and the writing examples are wonderful, I love how acerbic she is and the addition of her native tongue to her inner and external dialog actually works pretty well.

Auburn is a very dark shade of red, like Julia Roberts, the color you're looking for would be more along the lines of brunette. In truth, any red streaking in brown hair would have to be synthetic, as brown hair will naturally darken or lighten with blonde and near-black tones, so you might want to take that into consideration as well.

I honestly can't wait to see how the nearly all-male teams will react to this little beauty, she's a sharp contrast in both appearance and attitude that will cause some very amusing reactions from the more tame, laid-back residents in base currently.

Let me consult with my fellow admin, we'll see about an approval in the near future.
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Re: RED - Francesca Rescigno, Demo

Postby Gerhard Melsbach » Fri May 04, 2012 9:10 pm

Considering your massive improvement, I'm happy to announce that you are being formally accepted into our home.
Welcome to Swamp Rat!
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Re: RED - Francesca Rescigno, Demo

Postby Francesca Rescigno » Fri May 04, 2012 9:15 pm

Oh, thank you! I was starting to wonder if anything was going to happen. When would you like me to start?
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Re: RED - Francesca Rescigno, Demo

Postby Gerhard Melsbach » Fri May 04, 2012 9:25 pm

Go ahead and start up an intro in the Docks if you like, or you could have your intro in the Event currently going on.
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